Information for Caregivers

A caregiver is someone who gives basic care to a person who has a medical condition, such as cancer, that prevents him or her from independently doing activities of daily living. The caregiver helps the person with tasks such as preparing and eating food, taking medicine, bathing and dressing.

Being a caregiver takes a lot out of you, both physically and emotionally. It's important to your health not to ignore your own needs while you care for someone else. The following are some things you can do to make sure you stay as healthy as possible during your loved one's illness:

Make wellness a priority. You may feel like you have to "do it all," regardless of the toll it takes on you. However, one of the most important things you can do for your loved one is to take care of yourself by doing the following:

Stay organized. Caregiving is often a full-time job, but it may be done on top of your other responsibilities, such as working or taking care of your children. Make a schedule with your family. This will help all of you stay organized and will help you manage the demands on your time. Don't forget to schedule time for things you enjoy, such as visiting with friends, going out to dinner or going to the movies.

Create a support team. Plan for times when you'll need help by making a list of people who are willing to help. Family members, friends and temporary care workers can give you a break or help out when you can't be there. On your list, include their phone numbers, the times they are available and the tasks they feel most comfortable doing. Keep a copy of the list with you at all times in case you're away from home when you need to ask someone for help.

Set boundaries. Accept that there is a limit to what you can do as a caregiver. Recognize when you feel overwhelmed, and ask for help in caring for your loved one.

Caring for a loved one who is seriously ill is never easy. At times you may feel scared, angry, sad or lonely. You may also feel guilty. All of these feelings are normal, but you must learn to tell them apart from the signs of depression and stress-overload. These signs are listed in the box below. Call your doctor if you notice any of these signs. He or she can help.

Talk to your loved one and your family. You may feel like you shouldn't burden people with your feelings because you're not the one who is sick. However, talking about the illness and how you feel can help relieve stress. If your loved one is unable to participate, be sure to talk about how you are feeling with other family members or friends who can provide support.

Educate yourself about cancer. Find out all you can about the kind of cancer your loved one has, the treatment he or she is going through and its side effects. Being informed is a good way to regain a sense of control. Your loved one's doctor, support groups, the Internet and libraries are good resources for more information.

Join a support group. Support groups give you the opportunity to share your feelings and experiences with people who are going through similar situations. Your doctor can suggest ways to find a support group, or you can contact the American Cancer Society or the National Cancer Institute (see information under "Other Organizations").

Seek counseling. Sometimes it's helpful to talk with a counselor about how you're feeling. This is not sign of weakness. Recognizing that you need help takes a lot of strength and courage. Talk to your doctor. He or she can help you or refer you to a doctor or therapist who specializes in counseling.