How to Support an Addict

Addiction is a serious disease that can happen to anyone. It affects a person’s brain and behavior. There are many things that people can be addicted to, including:

• Alcohol
• Tobacco
• Illegal or prescription drugs
• Gambling
• Eating
• Sex
• Video games (online gaming)

Addiction is a chronic condition that has dangerous consequences on the individual and those around them. It is hard to stop addiction alone, but it is treatable with help and support. Addiction treatments options may include inpatient or outpatient rehab, detox, counseling, or recovery programs. According to Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), “Treatment helps people disrupt addiction’s powerful effects on the brain and behavior and regain control of their lives.”

Path to improved health

It is important that those close to the person suffering from addiction provide support. This may be hard but there are things you can do to help your loved one.

• Get educated. Do research on addiction. See if there are any local or national programs that can provide resources or classes. The more you learn, the more you will understand the condition and be able to help.
• Set boundaries. It is critical that you and your loved one have defined limits. Doing this can help protect you from getting hurt emotionally, physically, or financially. It may also help treat their addiction and prevent relapses.
• Prevent enabling. When you enable an addict, you allow them to bend or break the limits that you agreed to. Examples include lending them money, lying for them, getting them out of jail, and not being upset if they use or abuse again. Enabling is harmful to you, your loved one, and your relationship.
• Look and listen. Addicts may require extra attention. Be there to listen and do not judge their feelings. Keep an eye on them to watch for signs of abuse or relapse. However, do not let them abuse this need or take advantage of your time; your needs still are important.
• Stay calm. Supporting an addict can be hard and frustrating. There are times you may be mad at them, which is okay. Try to express your feelings in a calm, direct way. Avoid raising your voice, threatening them, or placing judgment. Talk to them about your concerns and their health. Focus on the future, not the past.
• Offer respect and praise. Just as it’s hard for you to support an addict, it can be very hard for them to overcome addiction. Be respectful of the treatments your loved one chooses to do. For example, they may need to attend inpatient rehab for a month or more. Or they may decide to join a nightly support group. Make a point to praise them on their commitment and any milestones they achieve.
• Avoid triggers. Be sensitive to things that may trigger your loved one’s addiction and try to stay clear. For example, do not drink alcohol or visit places where alcohol is prominent if this is triggering. For an eating addiction, find activities to do together that do not revolve around food.
• Try new things. Find activities that you and your loved one can do to replace their addiction. Examples may include exercise, cooking, painting, travel, or meditation.

Things to consider

Keep in mind that you are not responsible for your loved one’s addiction or treatment. You can provide support and encouragement, but you cannot force them to do anything. the end, recovery must be their decision. Try recommending that your loved one see a doctor or counselor who will discuss their treatment options.

Keep in mind that for many addicts, recovery is a lifelong process. Things may get better over time, but a relapse is always possible. As you support your loved one, do not forget about your own needs. You will benefit from support or counseling as well. Talk to a doctor about getting help for you, a child, or your family as a whole. There are support groups for loved ones of addicts, as well.

Questions to ask your doctor

• What are the best ways to support my loved one through addiction?
• Are there certain things I should not do?
• What can I do if my loved one has a relapse?
• What should I do if my loved one becomes violent to themselves or to others?

Resources

American Academy of Family Physicians: Finding the Right Addiction Treatment Program

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): Find Treatment

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA): What to Expect, Addiction